KakuHida: Birthday Surprises
by kiyomiuchiha
Summary: It's Hidan's Birthday! He gets specials surprises he never saw coming.


Birthday Surprises

The sun shined though Hidan's window brightly. Irritated he sat up. His eyes drifted over to a blood-stained calendar. April 2nd, it read.

'Huh, that day already?', he thought. Hidan rolled out of bed and got down on his knees. He lifted his necklace to his and brought the pendant to his lips.

"Jashin-sama, I thank you for giving me eternal life. I will continue to serve you as my lord and master for this coming year of my life." As his was finishing his prayers, the door swung open.

He looked up pissed, but quickly changed expression when he saw who it was. A short women with long black hair stood in the doorway,

"Hidan, your breakfast is getting cold. Better come get it soon.", she informed him.

"Well, well Kiyomi, I thought you didn't fucking care about me.", Hidan replied walking quickly over to her.

"I care. Just not the way you do."

At this point, Hidan was so close to Kiyomi he could hear her breathing. Kiyomi looked uncomfortable at the and she went to step back. Hidan quickly and slyly slid his arms around his waist.

"Hidan! Let go!", she ordered.

"Awww, but Kiyomi it's my birthday", he pouted. This statement took her by surprise.

"Ooh, really? Well, happy birthday then.", she replied smiling. Hidan's only seen her smile like that to Itachi and Deidara. He decided to tale advantage of this. Hidan began to slide his hand up her shirt. She screamed and kneeded him.

Hidan fell to his knees as he heard footsteps coming up the hall. He looked up and saw Itachi standing there and holding a katana. Hidan got up as quickly as he could(seeing as how he was still in pain), because he saw Itachi raise the blade.

"Possessive bastard.", Hidan threatened.

"I'm only 'possessive' because you continuously hit on my _wife_.", Itachi replied heavily emphasizing the last word.

"It's not my fault your wife is so goddamn hot!", Hidan replied smugly. This comment angered Itachi, who brought the katana close to Hidan and went to jab it into him.

"Wait, Itachi-sama! I think a kick to the groin is punishment enough! It's his birthday, please!", she begged.

Itachi glared at Hidan, but decided to let it go and left the room.

"Come on Hidan. Let's get you some breakfast."

'This my not be the worst fucking day after all.', Hidan thought.

Kiyomi was cleaning up the Akatsuki's dishes, when she asked "What do you want to eat for breakfast Hidan. The breakfast I made earlier is cold now, so I'll make you something else."

" No, Kiyomi that's wasting food, which is wasting money.", stated Hidan's partner, Kakuzu. Kiyomi picked up the plate of food.

"Fine, then you eat it! It's Hidan's birthday so I'm not gonna make him eat cold food.", she snapped. Kiyomi and Kakuzu continued to fight. They've had a history of hating each other, but Kiyomi hardly ever shouts. She's only ever shouted at Hidan.

"This is better than a fucking soup opera." At that moment Pein walked into the room. He looked at Kakuzu and Kiyomi in utter disbelief, but disregarded it.

"Kakuzu, Hidan, I have a mission for you. I need you to go after a bounty.", he announced.

"Alright, let's go Hidan.", Kakuzu said, as if he wasn't just auguring with Kiyomi.

"What?! I don't want to!", Hidan protested.

"Too bad, we're going.", Kakuzu replied dragging him out of the room.

'I take it back! This is going to be the worst birthday ever! Stuck with this damn greedy bastard all fucking day long.' He wouldn't admit it to himself or anyone for that matter, that these are the missions he liked best.

'Seeing Kakuzu in action, fighting in full force is the only good thing about it.' Hidan thought, 'Kakuzu's strong arms pounding into someone and causing them pain, that's the sexiest thin-. What the hell am I thinking?!' Hidan slammed his head into the wall, pissed off at the thoughts that just went though his head.

"What the hell are you doing, Hidan?", Kakuzu asked.

"That's what I'd like to fucking know.", he mumbled.

"Whatever, let's just go now."

The mission seemed to drag on forever. Hidan couldn't take it anymore, because while watching Kakuzu beat the crap out of the target, he was having "bad" thoughts. He was in danger of getting a nosebleed, his thoughts were so bad.

When they returned to the base Hidan went to his room and flopped down on the bed. 'Why? Why must Kakuzu look so damn sexy when he's fighting and drenching in sweat…. Jashin-dammit!' Hidan quickly prayed for forgiveness after taking his god's name in vain.

"Hidan…really what the hell's wrong with you?" Hidan sat up when he heard Kakuzu's deep voice.

"I don't know! This is has been the worst fucking birthday ever! Itachi nearly stabbed me and know I've been having sick pervy thoughts about you of all people!!!" Hidan's hand flew up to cover his mouth, he couldn't believe he admitted that to Kakuzu. He went to turn his head away from his money loving partner, but felt the man's hand on his face.

"Ka-Kakuzu what the…", Hidan began when he was cut off by his partner's lips on his. Hidan eyes widened in shock, but he began kissing him back. The immortal duo eventually had to pull away to breathe.

"So…what kind of pervy thoughts?", Kakuzu asked seductively.

"N-no of your fucking business!", Hidan shouted.

"Considering they were about me, I think that qualifies as it being my business.", Kakuzu replied.

"Why do you have to be so fucking hot! I'm mean why must I think this way about you?"

"What way?", Kakuzu inquired.

"Like, well you know how I act around Kiyomi. It's like that, I-I want you, I want you to screw me.", Hidan replied. Kakuzu leaned in and kissed Hidan roughly.

"We can fix that.", said Kakuzu in a deep seductive voice. He pushed Hidan down on the bed and proceeded to give Hidan his birthday surprise.

Hidan curled up into Kakuzu's arms. 'This is the one place I've always longed to be', he thought.

"Hidan…."

"hmm?"

"You know this means you won't be allowed to hit on Kiyomi anymore.", Kakuzu informed him.

" I can have you though?"

"Of course."

"Then, it's fine with me. I won't have to deal with her possessive ass of a husband and besides you're a hell of a lot hotter."

Kakuzu chuckled under his breath. He pulled Hidan close and they both fell a sleep instantly.


End file.
